I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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