I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
