never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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