I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
