Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
