It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
