Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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