Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
