i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
