i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
