great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize