Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
