No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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