She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
