bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
