Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
