I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
