Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
She needs sedatives and a leash
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
