You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
