I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
