We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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