come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
should my penis look like a turkey
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
