I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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