if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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