its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
