it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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