i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
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