Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
What a dumb baby whore.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
