I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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