how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
