Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize