I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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