Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
