question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
