where does the pee come out of this thing
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
