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im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
