Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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