Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
