No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
