why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
