I can't watch pbs sober anymore
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Randomize
