Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize