Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
