On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Randomize