Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
