i need an iv and a liver transplant
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
