Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
