I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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