there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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