my sisters under your porch take her home
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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