i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
one two three fourrrrnication!
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
