oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
