dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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