she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
