bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
