guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
