I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize